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Interactive Lab

NVC & Mediation Practice

Practise the craft of nonviolent communication and repair — assemble honest Observation-Feeling-Need-Request statements, build a feelings & needs vocabulary, plan a restorative circle, and rehearse the hard conversations development work asks of us.

The Four Steps: Observation · Feeling · Need · Request

Marshall Rosenberg's Nonviolent Communication (NVC) rests on four steps — often abbreviated OFNR. Together they let you speak honestly about a hard situation without blame or demand. Fill in each step below and watch your statement assemble in real time.

The heart of NVC: separate observation from evaluation, feeling from thought, need from strategy, and request from demand. A request stays a request only if you can genuinely accept "no".
1 · Observation

Say what a video camera would record — facts, not judgements. Distinguish it from evaluation: "When you were 20 minutes late to the two field visits this week" (observation) vs "When you are so unreliable" (evaluation).

2 · Feeling

Name a genuine emotion in your body. Distinguish it from a thought or interpretation: "I feel anxious" (feeling) vs "I feel ignored" (a judgement about what someone did to you, not a feeling).

3 · Need

Point to the universal human need underneath the feeling. Distinguish it from a strategy (one specific way to meet it): "because I need reliability and shared planning" (need) vs "because you should email me every morning" (strategy).

4 · Request

Ask for a specific, present, do-able action — and mean it as an invitation. Distinguish it from a demand: a request survives a "no" without punishment or withdrawal of goodwill.

Your NVC statement

Try it aloud. If the sentence feels stiff, that is normal at first — NVC is a practice, not a script. The goal is not perfect words but honest connection: your real observation, your real feeling, the need alive in you, and a request the other person can actually say yes or no to.

Feelings & Needs Inventory

NVC treats feelings as signals of needs. When a need is met we feel one family of emotions; when it is unmet, another. Building a rich vocabulary makes it far easier to find the right word in a tense moment. Tap any word to add it to your shortlist for the situation you are working on.

How to use this: think of one real situation. First collect the feelings that are alive in you, then the needs underneath them. This inventory is adapted from the categories in Rosenberg's Nonviolent Communication and the Center for Nonviolent Communication's feelings & needs lists.

Feelings when needs ARE met

Feelings when needs are NOT met

Universal human needs

Needs are universal — everyone shares them; only the strategies to meet them differ. Rosenberg groups them into these families.

My shortlist for this situation

Nothing selected yet — tap words above to collect the feelings and needs that fit your situation.

Restorative Circle Planner

When harm has happened, a restorative dialogue focuses not on "what rule was broken and who is to blame" but on who was hurt, what they need, and whose obligation it is to repair (Howard Zehr). Plan a circle below and save it for reference.

The restorative questions (Zehr): What happened? · Who has been affected, and how? · What are the needs? · What would repair look like, and whose obligation is it? A talking piece passes around the circle so one person speaks at a time, uninterrupted.
What harm or conflict is this circle addressing, and what is the hoped-for outcome?
Who is affected? Who should hold space (facilitator / keeper)? Consider support people.
How will you begin — a moment of silence, a reading, a check-in round?
The shared agreements that make the circle safe (speak from the heart, listen, confidentiality, one voice at a time).
What object serves as the talking piece, and in what order does it move?
The rounds you will move through (pre-filled with the restorative questions — edit as needed).
How and when will the group check that agreements were kept?
Safety first. Restorative processes are voluntary and are not appropriate for every situation — never bring someone who caused harm and someone who was harmed together without genuine consent, preparation, and attention to power imbalance and safety. When there is ongoing abuse or coercion, prioritise safety and specialist support over dialogue. Practice guidance

Practice Scenarios

Rehearsal builds the muscle. For each scenario below, draft an OFNR response and jot a short reflection. There is no single right answer — the practice is in separating observation from evaluation, and need from strategy. Illustrative scenarios

Done practising? Export everything — your OFNR statement, your feelings & needs shortlist, your saved circle plans, and these scenario drafts — as a plain-text practice sheet you can keep or share with a facilitation partner.

Keep practising

NVC and restorative practice are skills of the heart, not techniques of the tongue. The more you rehearse observation-without-blame and need-without-demand, the more natural honest repair becomes.

Nonviolent Communication OFNR Restorative Justice Mediation Repair